The Rage Against Nice: Why It's Time to Get Real About Our Feelings

I have been in constant exhaustion and I believe that a lot of us are feeling just as worn out as 7 hours of sleep is not enough to recharge the knackered body and a quick trip to our favorite destination can't comfort the drained soul anymore. Oh, and talk about how time just never felt so friendly because no matter how much we try and how rushing we are on floating through it, it always feels like there is so much to do on so little time spared. Some people would literally sacrifice their sleep to have a little more time with their loved ones. In my case, I keep daydreaming of how nice it would be if we can choose just 1 day of the week to sleep inside some kind of futuristic pod where we only have to have 2-3 hours of sleep instead of 7 hours each day.

There are 7 days on each week and all four weeks multiplied by the number of months every year. I don't care how many days there are every year, all I know is in one of those 7 days a week, we all have had the bad ones haven't we? Between some of those bad ones, of course there are the worst and the range of how we feel on each of them varies from desperately sad to horrendously mad.

And to add salt to that custom wound, we always betray ourselves by feeling a certain way about some feelings.

Like we would feel guilty if we feel trapped in the life we live in as if we're not grateful for all the blessings. Or we always blame ourselves for not doing anything on some days off just because we want to wind down from everything. We would hate it or be overly self-critical just because we have so much hate and rage on some bad days. The ugly part of it, we would always feel bad whenever we're mad about something that—let's say—is bad.

Let's see how it rolls in my everyday life. But first…

A Confession

I've been trying to write more and realizing that it will be just as hard if I really give myself some kind of censorship just because I keep trying to be nice that l have to cut some truth from my writing, which impossible to do because my words are always about the truth, because writing for me is about being honest to myself.

Alright, okay. I was not just trying to be nice (but I do know that I'm a nice one) but also because I feel bad if I write something about particular things. I would always think about people who would get hurt or offended just because what I have to say is probably different from popular opinion, or I would be spiraling about how my audience would perceive me because of what I feel about specific things. All that is what I believe is one of some reasons of why lately | write less.

So here it is, one of those colorful honesty that I've been trying to repress because I keep wanting to sound like a nice person and certainly don't want to hurt some feelings.

But whatever.

Some Bad Days Are The Worst

Alright, so anybody out here feeling like an explosive? Or just a meaty sack carrying tons of gunpowder around inside them that a single tiny trigger could really blow you up maybe?

Because I do and lately it's getting intense, especially on some of the bad days. But what do my bad days look like?

Let's say it varies and one of them is when rage fills my body and my blood is boiling that I believe my skin turns red during the time. I breathe hard, like the exhales and the inhales were intentionally audible with the heavy sigh and I'd groan angrily because sometimes it helps me get calmer.

But, ugh, how do I put this nicely, but some people just make me want to throw a tantrum. I did tell a friend once that some people really bring out the worst in each other.

And I guess, some of those applied to me. Or just occasionally triggers some unhealed part of me because they too, unhealed and easily triggered. Like a sack of explosives.

The thing is, I keep telling myself that I want to practice breathing exercises instead of getting drowned in the spiraling thoughts, getting super angry and talking shit and thinking the worst about other people. But most of the time I just can't help but hate meeting people. I hate that their ugly behavior of talking about other people keeps annoying me every time. I hate that being surrounded by people, especially a pool of strangers or a chaotic crowd makes me panic and stressed out. I hate that their laughter and the sound they make while they're eating really makes me want to scream. I told everybody that I love the sound of keyboards clicking but there are places where the sound of somebody typing makes my head so full of anger. And I hate that with all the identity we bring with our existence, some people just can't shake the habitual hatred they mindlessly keep showing.

And also, the one trait that I really hate from humans, is that they can easily let the purest intentions get wrapped and overlooked just to have another promising return that being an opportunist gave. And I just can't stop connecting all the strings and writing all sorts of scenarios in my head that makes me just want to go home and hide under the sheets and forget that I have to attend my job 5 days a week, 9 hours everyday.

Oh, trust me I am not a saint but believe me I have been roaming the earth long enough to know that being called a loner is way better than having to deal with all that. I'm exhausted and keep dreaming about a life in the woods with all the silence but the rustling sound of the trees when they get kissed by the wind.

Now This Is Where It Gets Messy

I'm exhausted. There, I said it again. If all of that thing is what we have to deal with, who doesn't? And if exhaustion is the word I've written 5 times now in this one piece alone, I think I need to understand something about it. So here's my 2 cents.

As if having to do all the work, all the routines, all the commutes, all the chores, all the physical activity is not enough to spend our energy with, we tend to add some more work load to ourselves by being our first critics. I mean look at how I described my feelings when some people were typing too loud and it annoyed me. I said I hate feeling that way about it. I used the words "I hate" generously and it naturally came out of my mind right through my fingers. I genuinely hated the way I felt during those angry days. And that's where it's wrong.

Our whole life we've been told that anger is a bad feeling.

We've been told to control our feelings that at some point we have to shove it all down. We've also been told that we're not allowed to hate, to be mad, to be sad, to feel disappointed, and any kind of feelings that are considered "a bad one". It's no one's fault now that it took hours of therapy for us to understand that no feeling is a bad feeling. It's no one's fault that after all this time, after all the effort to heal, to unpack and to restore ourselves, we still find it hard to just feel the feeling instead of blaming ourselves for feeling it.

Now isn't it answering enough to my exhaustion problem that one of the big reasons is this: I let the feelings fold, shoved, stuffed myself and when it feels too much to carry, I blame myself for feeling that way.

Now what?

It is hard to be nice and I hate it when people say being nice is easy. I mean, not saying cruel things to other people when they have nothing to do with you is easy, but to keep on being nice when all they do is make unnecessary exaggerated volumes of laughter in the public space? It's taking all the energy from your body.

And to refrain yourself from yelling at the people who keep interrupting your conversation with a friend just because they want to be part of the talk is what I believe they call energy draining. And so be it.

It's okay to feel angry when those people make you feel uncomfortable at work because of their loud laughter.

It's okay if you hate your neighbor for building a literal cow barn next to your back porch and send the smell to your house all day long. It's okay to pull ourselves away from an interaction because we just can't stand the dominant talker with main character syndrome anymore.

It's okay to feel disgusted by a stupid argument someone's pushing on you.

Be angry, be mad, be disgusted, feel the hate. Feel all that feeling and never question why you feel it. My therapist said that it's not about feeling better, it's about getting better at feeling.

Like The Crows

"If a slightly higher role

makes you shittier,

God knows what real power

would do to a person like you.

If looking down on people

is what makes you feel better,

I can only imagine what kind of wound

is still buried deep in your dark soul.

Oh, but I hold grudges like the crows,

so don't—

never once intentionally

treat me poorly.

And don't—

never unconsciously try

to give me bad tones.

You know, crows

attack.

You understand

how grudges work.

They grow.

So no,

your slightly higher role

does not grant you any respect

if you don't even deserve one."

Unveiled Reflections

She is a flower blooming in the dark,

Yet her essence still radiates.

She is a treasure in a box,

Locked away and guarded by a dragon.

She is a submarine,

Gliding through the water,

Silently surfacing for air only at night.

She is a spy in enemy territory,

Always on ward,

Never letting down her guard.

She is a character in a noir novel,

Building a secret garden,

Hidden away from the prying eyes of the world.

She is on a tiny island in the middle of a vast ocean,

All she can see are waves crashing on the shore,

But never the horizon.

She is a pearl inside an oyster's shell,

So alluring but ultimately unattainable.

She is a candle in the secluded greenhouse,

Her secret flickering in the shadows.

She is a glowing ember under a pile of ashes,

Her soul smolders just below the surface,

Waiting to burst into flame.

But she accept her fate like a hot coal

And it burned through her soul

As the realization dawned on her

Her shoulder relaxed

Like hot iron in the water

It’s her kiss to the forehead

Her warm blanket in the cold winter night

It’s her marking

A gift to oneself

As the tension that had been building

In her chest since forever melts away.

Journaling Journey: A Peek Inside My Journal Pages

One of my most cherished possessions are my journals. Oh how I love collecting all those leather bound vintage looking notebooks and relish writing on them more than typing on any good-looking keyboard. It's the feeling of the fountain pen nib gliding over the paper and the sound it makes that I love most. But, above all, it's the sense of contentment I get after completing my morning pages, writing poems in my fat vintage writing journal, or jotting down my monthly expenses and budgeting.

My fat vintage writing journals for poetry and writing ideas

People have been saying that journaling helps you declutter the mind and keep you organized. Well in my case, I’ve been journaling since I was so young when my handwriting was still hard to read even for myself. I’ve been in love with writing since I learned how to hold a pen and generate a word. And the more I grow, the more I know that it’s more than just venting or telling the diary how I was feeling that day. It was more than taking notes about lists of books I need to find in order to complete my tasks as college students. It was more than just trying to get my handwriting better and more readable.

Some notable articles are out there that tell you how journaling helps people to heal, stay sane, focused, organized, and all those benefits. But here, I am trying to give you a little peek into my journal. The page that I wrote at the very beginning of 2023 is the kind of page I have been doing every new year to help me navigate, look back at what I have gone through, and see what I have learned from the year to set some self-growth goals for the coming year. With the help of journaling prompts I found on Pinterest, here are the questions I answered on the new year pages I wrote at the very end of 2022 to welcome my 2023.

Disclaimer: Below part is the real text from the original pages and me sharing this is me being vulnerable to everyone who would spend their time reading. It would be worth it if my annual reflection could help and inspire you. So yeah, I hope this one gives a lot of people the words they need to hear, I hope some of you can relate to this and feel heard, I hope it would be helpful to you as it has been really helpful to me.

What did 2022 teach me about myself?

This year has taught me that I am a strong one. Even better, I’m the strongest even though most of the time I forgot to praise myself and thank her for being so strong, standing tall and walking out just fine after everything that I’ve gone through.

But I learn that as strong as I thought I’am, I still need compassion that I keep giving to others for myself. I learned that I can get mad, I can cry ugly, I can break down, and feel like doing nothing and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel all the emotions, acknowledging my own feelings, going through phases and all. Because instead of ruining me, all of that makes me grow. Even stronger.

2022 taught me that I need to always remember that we can only plan, work on it and hope that everything will work out just fine. Everything else is out of our control. Accepting that truth is a huge act of self-love for me. 2022 also taught me that all I need to do after doing my part in life is give in. I’m still working on that. But I learned that the twist of everything often brings me to other scenarios I came to love even more than the first plan. So 2022 taught me to say this more to myself: “Suci, just don’t worry too much!”

Who showed up for me and how I can nurture those relationships?

It’s myself first and foremost. Before my better half, before my family and anyone else. It’s me who deeply cares for me. But most of the time, I always ignore her voice and needs. To nurture this relationship I need to make the give and take system with myself better. I need to listen to her voice first before asking for other’s. I need to fulfill and satisfy her needs first before I give it to others. Then, with this getting better, I can show up better for my better half and my family who always showed up for me.

What do I need to accept about myself and other people in my life?

I need to accept that whenever I think about this or that, or when people say this or that, sometimes it’s just showing the fact that not everyone has what it takes to be something, to say something or to do something. I need to accept that there are differences, backgrounds, side stories about everything in everyone. With that fact in mind, I need to accept the fact that what I think is right is not always right. For that case, I need to be less judgy because who am I to judge?

And I also need to breathe, to take a break, to pause, to reflect before I keep going. I can’t handle everything all at once and still be okay. I need to accept that what I want is not always for the best and I need to re-adjust.

How did I cope with uncomfortable feelings?

I’m used to writing, journaling and crying when dealing with my feelings. But I learn that talking about it to the person I can be vulnerable with and I trust the most is adding more power to charge my soul. I also learned that writing the unsent letters helps a lot. Going to therapy has been playing a huge part for me to get better at feeling the feelings. And of course, I learn to be more accepting so the energy I used to spend on worrying can be utilized on feeling the feelings.

How can I better manage my reaction to my feelings?

I can learn to prioritize the time to really listen to myself inside before I can start thinking and process my feelings. If I feel like I need to cry, I’m just gonna cry it out. If I feel like I need to be angry, I’m going to write nasty and raging writings to be fully mad. I can learn to stop holding the feelings and react to the feelings in alignment with how I see fit, with what she needs.

In what ways will I take better care of myself in 2023?

I’m going to lessen the blaming session of myself every time things go south. I’m going to think of myself as the person I love the most in this life. I’m going to quit feeling guilty every time I fail to achieve or do things. I’m going to start getting used to smoking less, and I’m going to teach my brain that I don’t need to punch the wall everytime I get so angry. I’m going to trim my hair every 3 months to get it healthier and allocate more of my earnings to have a spa day, or getting a massage, or traveling with my loved ones. I’m going to learn new skills to upgrade my level on this game called surviving life. And because getting a fat paycheck makes me happy, I’m going to get a better job with a bigger paycheck. But what’s more important is that I need to be more mindful, to be present, and enjoy my time, my days. In that way, I can be happier, fulfilled, and content with everything I have and the people I love.

What has been a barrier to me completing my goals and how will I remove the barrier in 2023?

There are these different boxes of goals and expectations in life that I need to be aware of. If the goals involve external factors that I can’t control in order to make it happen, I need to make a good and detailed plan. Step by step. And for that, the expectation has been a huge problem for me because then I would be focusing on the outcome instead of the process and get distracted on the way through and then I would be less powerful to make it work. So, to make things easier for me, I need to be more realistic, focus on the day to day goals to build the huge long term dreams. I also need to know which one is more important than the other and the first indicator for that sorting process is classifying it with what would benefit my surviving life more, what would make me happier, and what will get me more time to be with the people I love.

What limiting beliefs do I need to release?

I need to get rid of the mindset that I have to meet certain criteria to be accepted, to be loved, to be worthy of anything when it comes to my family. Because they’re my family, they should and supposed to love me unconditionally. They do. I mean they will always love me for who I am. With this card in hands, I can start living my life truthfully and can use the energy I used to waste worrying about their opinion and reaction for something useful.

I also need to stop thinking that every bad thing that happened in my life happened because I’m not good enough. That mindset stops me from doing anything fully invested because then I would think that whatever I do, it’ll never be enough.

What do I need to practice doing more and less of?

I need to pay more attention to what’s inside my body to see if the machine, or my battery or anything in there needs fixing and how that affects my external reaction, behavior and attitude. I need to practice healthy eating more. I need to take care of my physical self more. I need to keep exercising every morning. I need to practice “don’t put it, put it away” more. I need to fight hard not to skip any of the 5 prayers no matter what. I need to keep on doing the routines I’ve been doing that have been giving benefits to every aspect of my life. I need to lessen my smoking habit and eventually quit. I need to quit procrastinating. I’m just going to practice everything that would help me take care of my 30 year old physical body and any good ritual to shape my spiritual and mental self.

What one boundary do I need to implement to improve my peace in 2023?

I need to have a clearer understanding on which one is my exam paper to finish, and which one isn’t. Because I’ve been drying myself out all this time, I keep trying to solve other’s cases when it’s so way out of my paygrade, beyond my limits, and it exhausts me. My legendary aunt says: when the weight feels too heavy, it’s probably not ours to carry. In simpler words, I need to make clear boxes to put which case is mine to solve, and which one is only for me to observe.

Wishing Well Instead of Questioning

On one fine morning, I was sitting on my black mahogany wood chair having my pandan pancakes while sending the invitation of my little brother’s wedding to a few friends I’m feeling close with. And as the regular interaction between humans occurred or as they said the common way of showing how much you care, people started asking questions. The kind of questions I kinda hate but get used to, like ‘so when will you also get married?’ Or ‘aah so your little brother is getting married, what about you? How are you feeling being left out?’ And so on, and so on.

First of all, of course I am happy that one of my soulmates is brave enough to start his new life. Why would I feel another feeling? Second, you should know that those questions started to sound irritating in my ears. At this age, I believe that I am not the only one who hears those questions haunting every time there is some kind of family gathering, or friends reunion, or reconnecting with an old friend. The kind of questions that feel unaligned with how we set our goals. The kind of questions that lots of people think is okay to be asked but to me it’s really not okay. At all.

But of course people are asking because of their love and the way they care about us (or not?). But at some point the question doesn’t sound right. So let me tell you this; just because you care about some people, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to ask such questions about their life decisions and just because you think you know people, doesn’t mean you can ask them about this certain topic. But again, I believe some people are asking because they care and wishes for their friend to have such happiness in getting married. But do you really think that people are wishing the same goal as your life decisions? Do you really think that it’s okay to ask them about when they will get married or wishing them to also get married soon? No. To me it’s a big NO.

I am not saying that I don’t appreciate what people are trying to show when they asked those questions. I understand that people are showing that they care and I truly appreciate that. So let me get this straight.

We live in a world with society where the traditions that are shown to us make us think that asking questions to what people are going to do with their life, or what steps people are going to take is okay, but really people, it’s so inappropriate. And at some points, it’s not our fault because from years to years and generations to generations, we are exposed to certain ways of life that somehow made us tend to believe that this certain way is the only way to live our life.

Exhibit A: we think that when people finish their high school they should continue their study to college and we often feel entitled to ask some of our friends ‘what college do you go to?’ Or ‘where are you going to get that bachelor degree?’

Exhibit B: we think that when a woman got her degree, got her job, and in her late 20’s she was supposed to find a man and get married, have kids, and grow old with a bunch of grandkids in her big house with her old husband then die happily. So when we have that friend who seems single in their late 20’s we feel the need to ask them ‘so have you found the one?’ Or ‘so when will you give us the big news?’ Or (the worst) ‘I wish you find the one to marry soon’.

Exhibit C: we think that when someone who is married for a certain time and we haven’t heard their updates about the kid, we started to ask ‘have you got pregnant yet?’ Or ‘oh dear, how can you still have no kid? Your husband must’ve been not pumping enough huh?’.

Again, I get that people with these questions are not entirely wrong because I understand that questioning people’s life traditions has been shown to us from years to years, generation to generation that we internalize it as a normal way to interact with other people.

But let’s think about it this way.

For some people, such questions could put a pain in their chest because what if they do really want to find the one, connected to a person that they want to spend their life with but it’s just not their time yet? What if the person you asked really wants to have kids but it’s just not their time yet when in the meantime they’re working really hard to be given one? What if they just happened to find their road harder? Wouldn’t it be cruel to remind them of how their hard road takes place? For some other people, the marriage question is a super sensitive issue that when you mentioned anything about it could bring some trauma to the surface. You’ll never know.

When for me specifically, asking those questions really sounds ingenious because, hell, people. Why would you think I’d want to get married any sooner? Why would you think I have the same goals as you do that you feel the need to wish me to get married soon? Why?

We’ll never know of what people have gone through and what they want in life. In their life. Why can’t people just wish their relatives, friends, families, or colleagues to just have a healthy and happy life? Because I personally would love to wish a happy and healthy life for the people I care about without having the need to ask such questions. So instead of questioning people’s life, why don’t we just wishing them well?

Menggerutu; Sebuah Coret-Coret Persoalan Mutu

“If to be accepted in a certain community we have to push something that crosses our value, why do we have to try so hard to fit in? If to be seen we have to say something cruel and make one or two people feel less-appreciated, why do we have to talk at all? If we experienced a hard time because people treat us in the worst way possible, why do we even try to do the same? If we listen to something just to find a few mistakes or things that aren’t aligned with our view, why do we even waste our time and listen to podcasts?”

Ketika sedang menghabiskan banyak waktu untuk bersantai, mengutak-atik jurnal dengan fountain pen kesayangan atau sedang sibuk corat-coret canvas di Procreate, sejujurnya kepalaku sering memikirkan banyak hal secara acak. Mulai dari persoalan ini-itu yang sedang aku hadapi, carut-marut kondisi tanah air, kompleks dan rumitnya situasi dimana-mana, hingga hal-hal sesederhana seperti bagaimana cara bersih-bersih rumah tanpa harus berhadapan dengan sesi menyapu.

Di balik pikiran-pikiran acak tentang banyak hal ini, kadang aku memikirkan sesuatu terlalu jauh sampai akhirnya geram sendiri dengan banyak hal yang seharusnya tidak terjadi jika saja semua orang sudi untuk berpikir dengan cara yang lebih sederhana berlandaskan dasar wajib menjadi manusia; akal dan nurani.

Tanpa bermaksud menjadi makhluk yang merasa benar sendiri atau sehat sendiri, melalui percakapan-percakapanku dengan orang-orang yang ‘berpikir’ mengenai banyak isu dan pembahasan, aku menyimpulkan bahwa there is always a fine line between something to something else. Selalu ada batasan halus antara menjadi cerdas dengan menjadi sok tau, selalu ada perbedaan tipis antara merasa sayang dengan memiliki obsesi tidak sehat, selalu ada kemiripan identik antara menjadi pendengar yang baik dengan menjadi orang yang hanya ingin tahu, selalu ada sedikit celah antara menjadi peduli dengan sekedar merecoki sesuatu. Selalu ada perbedaan kecil antara menjadi kritis dengan menjadi tukang hujat yang kasar dan menyakiti. Sayangnya, kita kerap melewatkan perbedaan dengan batasan-batasan kecil ini.

Banyak orang yang merasa pintar dan up to date hanya dengan sibuk mengikuti trend dan melakukan ini itu yang dilakukan kebanyakan orang sementara tidak memiliki pengetahuan yang cukup mengenai hal tersebut. Banyak orang merasa kritis dan peduli hanya dengan sibuk mencaci-maki dan memprotes sesuatu yang tidak sesuai dengan cara pandang dan berpikirnya padahal tanpa disadari, bentuk respon yang dilakukan kerap membuat sakit banyak pihak lain. Banyak orang yang bertindak dan memutuskan sesuatu dengan kepentingan tertentu dan merasa telah melakukan sesuatu dengan begitu bijak padahal tanpa disadari ada banyak pihak yang dirugikan dan menjadi terbebani.

Sekali lagi, kita hanya perlu untuk berpikir dengan cara paling sederhana dan menggunakan apa yang sudah kita punya sejak pertama memiliki peran sebagai manusia yang bernafas; logika dan nurani.

Jika untuk menjadi diterima kelompok tertentu kita memaksakan sesuatu yang tidak sesuai dengan prinsip dan kata hati, mengapa harus trying too hard to fit in? Jika untuk menjadi terlihat kita harus mengatakan sesuatu yang seharusnya tidak diungkapkan karena hanya akan membuat satu atau dua orang merasa less-appreciated, mengapa harus bicara? Jika hidup kita terasa sulit karena diperlakukan buruk oleh seseorang, mengapa harus melakukan hal yang sama pada orang lain? Jika ketika mendengar sesuatu kita hanya akan menghujat seseorang karena pendapat dan pandangannya berseberangan dengan yang kita percaya, kenapa harus sok-sokan susah payah mendengar podcast atau membaca sesuatu?

Ingat, there is always a fine line between something to something else.

Sederhananya, mari bertanya pada diri sendiri dan selipkan pembahasan-pembahasan menjadi manusia yang lebih baik ini dengan orang-orang terdekat kita. Tanyakan, apakah kita ingin terus-terusan hidup dibayang-bayangi oleh gelisah karena ada banyak hal yang tidak terselesaikan? Apakah kita akan merasa baik-baik saja ketika apa yang kita katakan dan lakukan ternyata membuat seseorang jauh di luar sana merasa tidak berarti dan begitu terluka? Apakah kita akan sanggup memperlihatkan kehadiran kita jika dengan kehadiran itu, seseorang merasa terganggu dan terancam?

Bukankah hidup dan saling berinteraksi akan terasa jauh lebih menyenangkan jika kita hanya perlu mengurusi urusan sendiri dan merelakan apa yang memang tidak seharusnya ada untuk kita? Bukankah tidur akan terasa lebih menguatkan ketika apa yang kita lakukan dan katakan lebih membantu dan membuat orang tenang? Bukankah umur yang terus bertambah dan badan yang semakin tua itu akan terasa lebih berguna ketika waktu yang kita habiskan dipakai untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih baik dan bukan untuk mengurusi hal-hal yang tidak seharusnya kita recoki?

______________________________________

When I spend my day off to leisure at home, scratch my journal with my beloved fountain pen or drawing messy lines in Procreate, I often have my head processing a lot of random thoughts. Most of the time I think of my life and all the things I got to face, sometimes I hardly think about my home country, the other time I think about how complex, complicated, and messy the situation in every corner of the world are, and the other day I might think of the simplest silly questions like how to get the house clean without me having to mop the floor.

Behind all these random-energy-draining-thoughts, I used to think of it further that I started to feel sick and have a rage about everything I can not fix. I once had a headache when I thought of things that shouldn’t be happening if only all of these human beings were willing to think and act like how we humans should think and act with these two main elements of us; sense of logic and our conscience.

Without pretending to be a self-righteous being, through my priceless conversations with the people who ‘think’, I conclude that there is always a fine line between something to something else. There are always subtle boundaries between smart and to be the “Know It All”. There is a slight difference between loving and caring to being sickly obsessed with someone. There is identical similarity between being a good listener to being someone who is just curious. There is a small difference between being critical and being a humiliator and hurting people. And unfortunately, we often consciously cross these boundaries.

Lots of people think of themselves as smart and the up to date one just by diving and following the trends meanwhile they don’t really know what they are doing. Too many people feel that they are being critical and care about something when all they did was just humiliating or protest against something that is not aligned with what they believe. And often how they respond to it is intentionally hurting people. Some people in the higher position decide something without considering what their people really need and end up harming the crowd.

Again, to be a good human is to think in the simplest way possible using the tools we got from the beginning of our journey as human beings; sense of logic and our conscience.

If to be accepted in a certain community we have to push something that crosses our value, why do we have to try so hard to fit in? If to be seen we have to say something cruel and make one or two people feel less-appreciated, why do we have to talk at all? If we experienced a hard time because people treat us in the worst way possible, why do we even try to do the same? If we listen to something just to find a few mistakes or things that aren’t aligned with our view, why do we even waste our time and listen to podcasts?

Remember, there is always a fine line between something to something else.

Simply put, let’s ask ourselves and inject those conversations about how to be a better human being. Start questioning these questions; do we want to live in the shadow of a restless day and night because there are so many unsolved problems? Will we all going to feel just fine when all the things that we said or did is really hurting someone out there? Can we show up when our existence itself is making someone feel threatened?

Isn’t life and our interaction with each other would be far nicer if each one of us just minded our own business? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we can easily let go of something or someone that doesn’t mean to be ours? Wouldn’t our sleep be the powerful recharge system when we know that what we did and said is helping people? Isn’t our life and these ages body felt useful because we used them all to be a better human without intervening people’s problems?