Three out of ten of the people who enjoy watching movies or series or reading books can’t help themselves but looking for spoilers on the internet. I’m one of them. One of those three people.
When I was in highschool or college and reading good fiction was my biggest muse, I often read the last 10 pages or even the last chapter when I was only at the 10–15% beginning of my reading.
I don’t know, maybe I just couldn’t wait for the reading process to get me to that ending. Maybe, uncertainty is not my favorite thing or I just want to answer all the questions I have about my favorite characters quickly.
Same situation occurs whenever I watch a good series and invested a little too much in those fictional lives that I felt the need to get to know more of the characters, or why they had scars, or where they would end in the story. So I started looking up for spoilers. It’s like an addiction. Really. But I’m sure not many of you would understand that.
To me, spoilers are the answer to all my curiosity and attention towards the fictional work I’ve been enjoying. Spoiler is the answer for that uncertainty. My best guess, it could be the reflection of how much I can’t stand not knowing and having unanswered questions in life, that get me addicted to spoilers this way.
Yes. The answers, because I believe that we have lots of answers to figure out in our life.
So would it be okay if I tell you that ever since we inhale the air outside our mother’s womb we’ve been started looking for answers?
I believe when I cried my first tears back then, I already had lines of questions like; “where am I?”, “where is the sound of that other heart?”, “why is it so bright out here that I had to close my eyes”, “what’s that noisy sound?”, etc.
I also think that I cried because I couldn’t find the answer for that question and crying is the only ability I mastered to express my desperation of not finding the answer. But we know, babies can’t look up for spoilers, like how I typed “Did Lexie Grey die?” when I was only in season 4 on Grey’s Anatomy.
So those babies are finally grown to kindergarten kids, then grow a little more to be teenagers, and that’s where I think most of the questions start to become unanswered one by one until those tiny babies turn into adults.
I kid you not, there are more and more questions coming once we hit a certain phase in life and all of that question remains unanswered. Well, most of them actually because some questions are easily solved.
But back to spoilers, do you ever think that it would be convenient to be able to google small spoilers about our life and make our tasks to answer questions, like “should I tell them this?” Or “what choices do I make?” a lot easier. Because I did. I thought about the spoilers of my life often. And I assure you, it’s the feeling of not knowing the fact that I can’t deal with uncertainty that made me think that way.
Until on a one fine day where episode 5 of Game of Thrones season 8 aired back then. One of my closest friends sent me a few images that contain specific and detailed leaks about how the last 3 episodes would go. She warned me not to open the images and read them, though. But it was just so tempting that I felt like I had to read it because I was so obsessed and had to know the answer. My curiosity had to meet it’s closure. So I read that spoiler.
Now if someone asks what is it that I regret the most, my answer would be that exact 5 minutes I spent reading those spoilers because I promise you, the last 3 episodes of my favorite show have ruined.
I did enjoy it but the shock, the surprise, the amazed, the sadness and all the feeling I felt watching how Jon Snow stabbed his love was baked. The feeling I expected felt different. And that was horrible because when I watched the last 3 episodes it felt like I was only checking if the leak was right. I did get my answers about where Arya Stark would end up. But the joy I was hoping for was not there when I watched the finale.
So I quit using spoilers to cure my fear of uncertainty. I stop myself from looking up for spoilers everytime I’m watching a series because from that Game of Thrones moment, I learn that it’s not about the answers after all. It’s how we figured it out.
Maybe that’s why the new born babies cry because they’re willing to walk the process on how to tell their parents that they’re hungry so they would stop crying once the mother fed them.
Maybe that’s the reason why we start dating and have horrible break ups too many times because unconsciously we’re also willing to do the process of answering the question about who will be that ‘the one’ in our life.
Or maybe that’s why we keep on trying when things don’t work out the way we wanted to because deep down we have that hope and faith we’ll find the answer one day.
When we feel like we can’t, just do it the classic way like how a newborn baby cries. Maybe we’re not exactly getting all of the answers to our trouble once we cry, but we’ll learn how to.