This morning was not like any other morning. It was a Saturday type of busy morning that we have never experienced. There were a lot of checklists to complete and places to visit. But still, we kissed and said “morning, love” like any other morning—just like our regular morning routine.
It was 5 am. You woke up because of my alarm. You tried to wake me up, but you failed. You saw through the entire room with a little bit of confusion. There’s a lot on your mind in that early morning. You starved, you saw our room was messy, you saw me sleeping like a baby after we kissed, and you reached out your phone with no notification that you’ve been waiting for from your colleague.
Yet, you decided to go back to sleep, like me.
It was 7 a.m. You saw me still sleeping unmoved. You still saw this messy room, and no notification appeared on your screen. It’s still you, but the difference was that this time, you tried to sit with anger.
“Arghh,” you said, annoyed with your situation at that time. You started hating this messy room, your phone, and me, who was sleeping unmoved like a baby.
You tried to wake me up with no plan of failing. You shook my body harder and harder, you yelled, and it was my turn to feel annoyed.
“What?”, I asked with a little bit of frustration in my face.
“Wake up! We need to hurry. It’s 7 a.m. already.”, you replied unfriendly. I was not listening. My head was too heavy for this conversation that Saturday morning.
“Wake up!!” you yelled louder, and I was angry.
“Okay!”, I said. I sat, stood, and moved my body directly to the bathroom. I took a shower and wore the clothes that you chose. I sat for a while, waiting for you to do make-up. You looked pretty but I was still angry.
I drove you to the first place we needed to go. You had an office event, and I went to a coffee shop. I tried to remember why I had this feeling. Why I needed to feel this anger and the feeling of hating you was right for me. Because there was no conversation between you and me this morning from our house to your office event’s place.
I tried to think clearly.
My anger came from the way you yelled.
You yelled because you were angry with me.
You were angry due to some factors: two of them were your colleague who was not responding to your message and me for not tidying up our room after working until late the night before.
I did not tidy up the room because I was exhausted due to my work and neglected my responsibilities in our relationship.
So, it was me.
I picked you up after we separated for almost 3 hours. You with your activities, and me with my coffee and thought.
“You still angry?”, you asked after we drove for a while.
“Not really. I’m sorry honey.”, I replied with a poker face.
“I am sorry, I was not respectful to you.”, you said softly.
“I am sorry. I was not supportive enough for you.”, I said gently. We held our hands again like we used to do when we were both in the car. Because we realized, in this relationship, we might hate each other for a reason, we might be angry toward each other for some actions, yet it doesn’t have to be forever.
We can communicate, we can show respect, and can fix things together.